Moral Turpitude - Not Since Porky's Have I Even Heard The Phrase

Moral failure bars dandy from US

Life probably holds few surprises for a man who has worked as a prostitute and been nailed to a cross in the Philippines. Even so, the British writer, artist and dandy Sebastian Horsley was miffed to find himself refused entry to the US this week on the grounds of "moral turpitude".

Horsley, 45, had travelled to New York on Tuesday to promote his gleefully seedy memoir, Dandy in the Underworld. But things started to go wrong at immigration at the city's Newark airport.

"I'd been planning the go the US for six months," he told the Guardian yesterday. "I had got to the airport in full dandy regalia - top hat, long velvet coat, velvet scarf. One concession to their Ivy League sensibilities was that I had taken off my nail polish. When I put my finger in the scanner, they took me aside and interrogated me for eight hours."

Horsley said he had a previous conviction in the US for possession of amphetamine sulphate but assumed it had expired. However, his book did not do him any favours with the immigration officers.

"They said ... they knew I had been a crack addict, a heroin addict and a prostitute," he said.

"The good news was that they'd read the book - but the bad news was they'd read the book, and I was deported for my notoriety and for being an alien convicted of a crime involving 'moral turpitude'."

Come on, Moral –Friggin’- Turpitude I literally have only ever heard the term used as a joke, I knew this clause used to exist in old school contracts , but holy cow don’t we have some terrorists to catch or something a bit more important to worry about then moral turpitude.

“Do I mind what?”
“It's disgusting. The two of you, squirming about like a pair of eels in heat. ”

“You're a disgrace”.

“Yeah? Well, it beats waddlin' aroundlike a frigid hippopotamus, Beulah. ”

“What did you call me? ”

“Beulah... Beulah Ballbreaker ”

“Who do you think you're talking to? ”
“Well, if l heard a hurdy-gurdy playin', I'd think I was talkin' to the fat lady in the circus.. But I guess I’m talkin' to a ton of bad news named Beulah, Beulah, Beulah. ”

“Look, ladies, I don't think this... ”
“You butt out. ”

“Moral turpitude. ”

“What? ”
“Moral turpitude. Read your contract, Miss Honeywell. l'll have you fired for moral turpitude. ”

“ You can take your moral turpitude and you can stick it up the old gazoo, Beulah. ”

“Gee, Lynn, I don't know. "Moral turpitude".”
“Oh, come on. ”

“All right, Brian- I'll talk to Coach Goodenough. ”
 “I appreciate that But don't expect too much. ”
“Now, come on, we're late for practice. ”

“Smell that air.  ”

“Oh, boy. Oh, boy. ”

“The boys' locker room always turned me on. ”

“Really? ”

“Yeah. ”

“Yeah? ”
“Yeah. ”

“Yeah. ”